Podcasts
Feature Creep: Built-in Microwave; The Podcast
With a loose focus on design, and a heavy dose of absurdity, we discuss a variety of topics that we hope you will find relevant to your own life. Or, at least you might find them entertaining. Please enjoy.1
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With your consent, of course. ↩︎
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Long Story Short, The Episode
Ned and Meg celebrate the return of Lauren as our guest-host-comrade. We chat like old times about whether you’re supposed to swim on an empty or a full stomach, exposure therapy, how a once-disgraced-but-not-really-disgraced germline-editing doctor is back on the science scene, Ned’s progress in Dungeon23, Camaro cars, and the merits of the movie Harold and Maude. As always, thanks for listening, don’t be a dick, wash your hands, do something nice for someone without expecting anything in return.
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Hippo Uh-Oh
Ned and Meg discuss the fate of Pablo Escobar’s wayward Colombian hippopotamuses. Yeah that’s right, Colombian Hippos. What else is there to say? Thanks for listening, wash your hands, don’t be a dick!
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Asterbang*!
Ned and Meg discuss the invention of the Asterbang, not to be confused with the Interrobang, which we have discussed at length in other episodes. Today we want to introduce a new concept in grammar and punctuation to you but first we talk about how much we hate advertising, and how bad our parents are at the internet. We round out with a revisit of Chesterton’s Fence and Meg’s comparison to colonial discourse. Plus, we publish a book, and, Balloonacy. Thanks for listening, wash your hands, don’t be a dick*!
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Oceangate Gate
Ned and Meg and Damon discuss the Oceangate submersible scandal, which we obviously dubbed OceanGategate, but first we discuss the sinking of a fishing vessel near Greece involving hundreds of people. Our discussion of OceanGategate centers around the many design flaws of the OceanGate Titan submersible, since this is ostensibly an art and design podcast. This one is pretty dense so strap in. Thanks for listening, wash your hands, don’t be a dick!
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The Mechanical Turk
Ned tells Meg about the once-fabulous, then not fabulous, and now once-again-fabulous Mechanical Turk, a fraudy machine from the late 1700s that beat famous people at chess, sometimes. The best things about this machine are the weird number of insanely famous people who interacted with it. Meg applauds Edgar Allan Poe’s well-placed skepticism of it. This machine was created for marketing purposes back in the day and was never actually functional as described, but it nonetheless made a big splash and went on tour and everything. As Rubin Farr once said, you can be famous and a fraud; a famous fraud. Thanks for listening, wash your hands, don’t be a dick, maybe learn how to play chess for real!
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Paper Sizes
Ned and Meg chat around ISO 216, the paper standard that dictates sizes and scaling for papers not used in the United States. Here we use letter size and other measurements that don’t scale and don’t work as great as the ISO 216 standards! Anyway, we will tell you all about it if’n you give it a listen, plus discussion of paper weights and US stationery sizes, plus aspect ratios and paper sizing. Oh, and Meg’s frequent dream-based panic attacks. OK super! Thanks for listening, wash your hands, don’t be a dick.
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Lagniappes
Ned and Meg wander through the landscape of lagniappes, describing what we see as we go. In this episode we discuss the etymology of the word “lagniappe” and where the whole idea of them originated. We chat about creole food too, and our seafood preferences before we discuss some of our favorite lagniappes like the ones that kids get at the dentist, in happy meals, at the Sanrio store, at grocery stores, Archie McPhee’s, and our favorite, the Hobonichi lagniappes. Thanks for listening, give someone in your life a lagniappe! Wash your hands, don't be a dick.
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Vaguely Debate the Nature of the Zombie Genre
Wherein Ned and Meg vaguely debate the nature of the zombie genre. Spoilers on the HBO show The Last of Us. Thanks for listening, wash your hands, don’t be a dick.
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Watercolors, Watercolours
Ned undertook a new hobby and tells Meg about his recent experiences with watercolors. Meg is a huge fan, so this was an easy podcast this time! We talk about how Dungeon23 was Ned’s gateway into watercolor painting and its incredible versatility and portability as an artistic medium. We discuss the difference between glutinous paints and glutenous foods. We explore binders, pigments, papers and paints! We chat about illuminated manuscripts and Chinese landscape painting. We also muse about Studio Ghibli and Top Craft whose use of watercolor paint for background artwork in films is really lovely. Thanks for listening, wash your hands, don’t be a dick.
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Mason Bees
Meg tells Ned all about the sleeping bees in her refrigerator. Join us for a discussion about the fascinating creatures known as Mason Bees! Solitary nesting bees are EVERYWHERE and they are the coolest little friends you’ll ever make. They’re dynamite pollinators, WAY better than honey bees! We talk about how to raise them, if you are so inclined, and lots of other stuff. Wash your hands, don’t be a dick, read about mason bees. Thanks for listening.
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Verisimilitude
Ned and Meg discuss verisimilitude in a number of contexts ranging from philosophy to art and in the experiences of everyday life. We talk about capturing and conveying truth, and how two truthful things can be closer or farther from THE truth than each other, but how to measure that? We glance over some philosophers along the way as we discuss writing, movies, paintings, expertise, identity, hermeneutics, medicine, Mark Twain, and a future in which the only reference materials are romance novels. Thanks for listening, wash your hands, try to stay healthy, don’t get anyone sick, don’t be a dick, all the things.
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Dungeon 23
Ned and Meg discuss the #dungeon23 project. Which Ned is undertaking a long with multitudes of other people. Come join us for an interesting intersection of some of our favorite things. Hobonichi and table top role playing games.
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Living in Koln as an Expat
Moriah tells Ned all about life in Koln, Germany. Life as an expat!
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DIY City Megalomaniacs
Ned and Meg revisit a topic we love as we discuss the sheer madness of some of the proposed domestic mega-projects around the world. We’re talking about DIY Cities, and boy are there a lot of these popping up -- but only in the hypothetical so far! We talk about Charlie Munger’s Death Dorm again, plus NEOM’s impossible, sideways skyscraper called The LINE for which people have already died, as well as a totally bogus city of dildo buildings in Senegal named for a one hit wonder in the 2000s American R&B scene. But really, all of this is just to get to the discussion of the one that takes *our* cake so far, Kenya’s Konza Technopolis which is ironically the most likely to succeed logistically but which probably would be the worst to actually live in socially. Join us in complaint, and disbelief. As always, thanks for listening, send us an email if you feel like it, don’t get anyone else sick, and don’t be a dick!
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Backhanded Compliments, Just Like Grandma Used to Make
Ned and Meg give each other some familial support in the form of backhanded compliments. You know the ones! Why praise someone when you can infantilize them as well? We get off topic and discuss NFTs, Ned’s coffee regimen, lifting people up just to drop them, the fall of the crypto scam empire, and finally, we share with you the best art snack so far, a discussion of the Bobby Fingers diorama of Mel Gibson’s colorful 2006 Malibu arrest. Enjoy! Thanks for listening, wash your hands, don’t be a dick.
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Carrot Cake and Murder Hoboism
Ned and Meg get Ned’s take on reducing sugar, Christmas food cravings, YouTube videos about cake and theater set design, the history of DND, the revival of Old School Renaissance which is not the carrot cake you remember, plus actual Carrot Cake’s much less sweet culinary origin story. Join us! Wash your hands, thanks for listening, don’t be a dick!
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Steamed Hams But Not Yet
Ned drops some edification on Meg (aka Egg) about Steamed Hams, the Simpon’s episode. Rather, ostensibly it’s about Steamed Hams, but REALLY it’s about the burgeoning art movement reiterating on the theme of Steamed Hams. This is just the beginning folks. Also Meg has shingles AGAIN so feel sorry for her, k thanks. Wash your hands, don’t get shingles, don’t be a dick.
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Germany Super Friends
Ned chats with some new characters, or new to listeners anyway, in Germany, on a fabulous trip, with super friends. This episode sort of comes full circle for FCBM because right after the podcast started there was a similar trip to Germany and here we find ourselves again! Milestones. Join Ned while he speaks to his expat friends living in Germany!
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Forced Fun for Everyone
Ned and Meg take a proverbial poop all over forced fun (aka mandatory fun). In this episode we also talk about Meg’s mall-induced pavlovian panic attacks, which stem from a nightmare she can barely remember. As always, we thank you for listening to our weird stuff, and remember to wash your hands, and don’t be a dick.
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Halloween 22, A Visit from the Barf Fairy
Ned and Meg chat about how Meg was a casualty of the Barf Fairy on Halloween morning in the year of oh lord 2022. In light of the fact that it is summer weather in November in Minnesota, we talk about the weather’s effect on Halloween costume viability, lightly discuss costume engineering and contraptions, and whether we favor novel costumes over the classics. Happy Halloween, you halloweenies. Wash your hands, don’t give anyone a disease, pass out candy, and don’t be a dick. Thanks for listening.
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Bookstore
Ned and Meg expound on bookstores past and present. There are 2500 independent bookstores in the US apparently although that seems like a lot. It’s up almost 50% from ten years ago. WOW! We compare the rich experience of book reading to the impoverished experience of e-reading. Plus, card catalogs, lawsuits, illuminated text, Borders vs. Barnes and Noble, little free libraries, murder hobos, and books in bookstores as liminalities within liminalities. Thanks for listening, wash your hands, don’t be a dick.
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Designing Dystopia, The Prisoner 3
Ned and Meg talk about the final two episodes of The Prisoner (the American series version) and explore the outrageous design elements present during the grand finale of the series. Check out those stove pipe jeans and turtleneck sweaters! Very mod. Thanks for listening, wash your hands, don’t be a dick.
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Alternative Takes, The Poisoned Carrot
Ned and Meg dissect some common buzzwords and talk about exit strategies, quiet quitting which our generation basically perfected and owns forever, mindshares, toxic positivity, mouthfeel, internauts on the runway, and so many more. If you like people who complain loudly and randomly about pop culture, this is for you. Thanks for listening, Hi Buster, wash your hands, don’t be a dick.
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Designing Dystopia, The Prisoner 2
Ned and Meg continue their discussion of design elements from The Prisoner television show. Why is Number Six in black? Why does everyone in town have a cape and an umbrella? Who pairs pea green walls with camel brown textiles? We compare the Disney-like appearance of the village to Portmeirion and rattle off some other works we feel are derivations of the show. Number two in an ongoing, indefinite installment of conversations about this show in specific, and the umpteenth conversation about dystopias. Thanks for listening, wash your hands, watch The Prisoner, don’t infect anyone with coronavirus.
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Short, The Prisoner 1
Ned and Meg start to talk about design elements from The Prisoner television show, which is very dystopian in nature and thus sparked another Designing Dystopia installment! Just as we are about to get going, we have to stop, so this one’s a short! Thanks for listening, look for more episodes about this, wash your hands, watch The Prisoner, don’t infect anyone with coronavirus.